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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “really delusional”, he states. You feel invincible and you think, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are typically coming after a “sudden low”, where he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his conduct, making him especially susceptible to criticism from those around him. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms on the internet – and was later evaluated by a clinician. However, he questions he would have taken the label unless he had previously arrived at that understanding personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – most notably if they feel feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Although people have been called narcissists for more than a century, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains a psychology professor, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people keep it private, as there is significant negative perception associated with the condition. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like seeking admiration,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

Although three-quarters of people identified as having NPD are men, findings points out this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” says a young adult who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners during adolescence,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures as a child. It’s been a process of understanding all this time what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my family members were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

Personality disorders tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult says when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his GP, he was directed to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for talking therapy on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: “They said it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

John has only told a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he explains. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the condition. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number